


Musings of a (Slightly Empty Nester) Mother

by loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS



Series: Plance Through The Years [10]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (colleen regrets missing her daughter growing up), Daughters, Empty Nester Mother, Gen, Growing Up, Introspection, Post-War, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 22:04:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17353460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS/pseuds/loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS
Summary: Colleen couldn’t go back in time and get the chance to raise her teenage daughter, but if Katie needed her, she’d be there.





	Musings of a (Slightly Empty Nester) Mother

**Author's Note:**

> mama holt’s turn. companion piece to sam’s musings.

In all her time as a mom, Colleen had never expected that she’d develop Empty Nest Syndrome™.

It wasn’t like she didn’t know her kids would eventually grow up and leave the house one day. They were both growing up, if not already grown, but it was just that for a good chunk of years, her kids were out in space. So when they’d returned, she’d deluded herself into believing that they would stay home for a little while longer to make up for the lost time.

But she’d forgotten how ambitious and independent her children were.

Matt, she could understand why he would continue his adventures off in space, only coming back every once in a while with his girlfriend when he missed homecooked meals.

But Katie, she’d thought would stick around for much longer. Colleen supposed it made sense that she would gradually spend less time at home what with her boyfriend living across the city and her PhD studies being so intensive. And yes, maybe five years was a long time for Katie to stay with her, but it wasn’t long enough.

Most days it was quiet in the house.

A little lonely.

It seemed like just yesterday when Matt ate the last of the peanut butter cookies and Katie chased him around the house with a tennis racket. It seemed like just yesterday when they would make such a huge ruckus over who got the bathroom first and who needed it more. It seemed like just yesterday when they’d make mini robots that would break her priceless Ming vases and then hide from Colleen in fear. It seemed like just yesterday when they’d had an April Fools Prank War, and Matt thought it’d be a good idea to put salt in Colleen’s cake batter just to watch his sister choke in disgust.

(Actually, that _had_ been yesterday, and Matt was currently paying for that mess).

Don’t get her wrong, Colleen wasn’t the type to wallow, but standing in Katie’s nearly empty room—sheets stripped, books packed up from shelves, closet empty, and all essentials boxed—made her want to sit down and look at old baby pictures of her daughter.

She’d heard other Garrison moms talk about it, how their kids had all grown up and continued on with their passions in their fields, leaving the mothers aching for a time their kids clung to them for all their needs. Colleen couldn’t relate to that feeling because at least her children worked in roughly the same field, so she saw them frequently enough. That didn’t bother her.

And neither had Katie going steady with the blue paladin a little over a year ago. If anything, Colleen thought they made a very cute couple, and the young man was always so respectful whenever he stopped by the house to pick up her daughter.

(Although she wondered why he was still so skittish around her. Geez. You point a carving knife at someone _one_ time and suddenly they think you want to kill them and hide their body or something).

But she’d never really considered how serious they might get until Katie revealed to her and Sam at dinner that she was moving in with Lance. Sam had definitely gotten all weird about it, visibly deflated whenever their daughter wasn’t around, and though Colleen didn’t share Sam’s overprotective tendencies, she could relate to the reasoning behind his pain.

Katie was growing up.

She was growing up and moving on with her life and seeing it happen in real time was a bit difficult to wrap her head around.

For Colleen, regret remained at the top of her feelings regarding the once teenaged girl she so desperately hoped she could support. Because seeing the inner strength Katie had developed, the way she’d grown and learned to rely on others and care for them? Colleen wasn’t certain she could even claim any credit for that.

The girl who’d run away from home all those years back was not the same woman she’d hugged senseless when they reunited. There were times Colleen could see the underlying damage in Katie’s heart, but she’d found people to support her and keep her steady when she was lost. She’d run from home a broken girl, but came back a headstrong, fantastic woman.

Katie didn’t depend on Colleen, that much was apparent. And Colleen was proud of her for who she’d become.

But it kind of broke her heart.

She would never forget the pain from the day she went to Katie’s room to bring her breakfast only to find her gone. Seeing the locks of hair on her bathroom floor. Searching and searching for so many sleepless days and nights for any news or information to turn up about her missing little girl. It’d been one horrible thing for her husband and son to be presumed dead, but for her daughter to practically vanish with absolutely no warning had torn Colleen apart.

She’d heard nothing about her until she’d seen the Pidge Gunderson who had disappeared. A Pidge Gunderson who was decidedly her daughter. She’d been gone for four years, and Colleen had spent so much of that time restless and sobbing over not knowing her daughter’s fate. Sam’s return had alleviated some of that pain, but year after year went by and Colleen couldn’t help but wonder about Katie. She knew how hectic a girl’s teenaged years could be, and she herself hadn’t had a mother around to hold her hand through the awkward body changes and difficult hormonal shifts. She’d wanted to be the kind of mother to Katie that she herself had never gotten.

Those dreams died with each passing day, and by the time the paladins returned, Colleen could barely recognise Katie. Her daughter had always been self-sufficient, but her time in space had made her become too independent in the blink of an eye.

Her daughter was nearly twenty-three.

A woman now.

And she didn’t need Colleen for most things.

Colleen wished she could have more time with her only daughter. She’d missed her daughter becoming a woman. She wasn’t there to rub Katie’s ailing abdomen when she cramped up from periods, or listen to her gush all flustered over her crushes or help her learn how to measure and size herself for bras. She wasn’t there to give her advice about life and guide her through the woes of female adolescence. She wasn’t there to teach her how it didn’t make her weak to open up to others.

And that would always break her heart in some ways, but seeing the inner strength Katie had developed, seeing the ease with which she talked to her friends, seeing her find love with someone who respected her so much, someone _good_ who would never take advantage of her or break her heart, it made Colleen so proud. And above all, she was honoured to see her become the woman she was today.

(But if Lance did break her heart or cheat on her or something, well… Krolia had taught Colleen a bit how to use a blade, and she’d have no qualms using it on Lance’s wandering appendage).

Colleen picked up an old trophy left on Katie’s desk, her eyes drifting out the window at the driveway. Lance had almost dropped one of Katie’s boxes labelled fragile in his effort to fit it in the backseat of his car and she was very clearly threatening his life. Colleen chuckled to herself, reminded of how she’d reacted in a similar way when Sam almost dropped and broke her laptop with her incomplete thesis back when they’d been at university.

Well… at least, if there was anything she _could_ take credit for, it was teaching Katie to never take anyone’s shit.

She couldn’t truly mother her anymore, save for giving her some advice here and there when Katie tried to work out her feelings. But there was nothing she could really do but sit back and watch her daughter move on with her life with someone who she clearly loved. All she could do was wait for the day she got the call that Katie was engaged and would be married soon.

She sighed and picked up the last box resting by the door, one of old childhood mementos and some stuffed animals Colleen had gotten Katie as gifts. Katie had donated most all of her stuffed animals, except for these. It warmed her heart. She hitched the box up on her hip with a wistful smile and made her way back downstairs, ready to say goodbye to her daughter.

Colleen couldn’t go back in time and make her daughter a teen again to be the nurturing mom to guide her through adolescence, but for damn sure if Katie ever needed her, she’d be there.

“So…” Colleen said with a playful grin as she walked over to the couple beside the car. “When do I get grandchildren?”


End file.
